The Mona Lisa's On Our Fridge - Avantcard Publications

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The Mona Lisa's On Our Fridge

The Mona Lisa's On Our Fridge
The Mona Lisa’s on our Fridge is an off-the-wall collection of poems for children populated by ghosts, aliens, painters and octopuses! .If you’ve ever wondered what flowers are about, where dreams come from, or what really happens to our rubbish when we put it out, this is the book for you. Lavishly illustrated with the authors own unique full-colour collages, this magical, surreal and outrageously funny book takes the reader into uncharted waters and provides a new perspective on the child’s world. And like many a canny nursery rhyme it’s different layers of meaning make it appealing to adults as well as children.

“What a breath of fresh air!”
-Children’s Books Ireland Bookfest 2009.

“A celebration of imagination and wit”
-Robert Dunbar, books of the year (Ireland).
Poems from the book.
The Devil's Hot Water Bottle
The devil slid down the banisters,
He was almost ready for bed,
He fumed with fallen angel's glee;
Beady little eyes in a beady little head,
Baby horns already there,
Telltale hoof prints on the stair,
A tail to swish with coy restraint,
A conscience very very faint,
A trainee's trident by his side
Of course
His hot water bottle.

The devil's hot water bottle!
It was very very hot.
Hotter than Beelzebub's brain,
Hotter than a fuming train,
Hotter than an African plain,
So hot.
It was even hotter than lava floods,

Hotter than some stolen goods,
Hotter than the burning woods,
That hot.

He tucked it under angelic sheets
And had himself a supper snack
And rested for awhile without a care.
He'd mucked about
And played some tricks
On gods and giddy kings,
Hyper in his diaper since
God told him to get to bed.

And finally he got in bed
And as he lay his fire went out,
And his boiling bottle soon became,
With the passing of time, tepid and tame;
He clutched it gingerly with delicate fingers
And dreamed a little of heaven.

He'd fooled around
And knocked the world
A little off it's course,
Jumpin' in his jammies since
God told him to get to bed.

He'd played the prince
And mocked the law
Of grown-ups and godheads,
Hyper in his diaper since
God told him to get to bed!
The Cheerful Ghost
It seems like ages since the cheerful ghost
Came to stay.

He blew in on a Tuesday through a closed front door,
He sleeps on the ceiling and dances on the floor,
He'd howl and moan and bellow but he doesn't know what
It's for;
He's just cheerful.

He likes to giggle whenever he can.
He's also eaten all the jam.

He watches all our videos and sometimes smokes in bed,
He hasn't any limbs or a torso or a head,
Just a disembodied smile that's never been fed.
He's not grumpy.

He goes to bed at eight o'clock.
He's rarely known to jeer or mock.

He feasts in the kitchen and sings in the bath,
He makes hoax phone calls to his buddies for a laugh,
Has to wear a white sheet but he thinks it's daft;
He's just happy.

So if you see him don't despair,
Don't be fearful and don't beware,
He's just sunny and misunderstood,
He's our cheerful ghost.
An Octopus
An octopus floating under the sea,
Perfectly happy, perfectly free,
Wading and wandering under the sea,
Well where the hell else would it be?

Under a table, under the sink?
That would be slightly absurd don't ye think?
No, an octopus floats about under the sea,
Perfectly happy to be.

A jellyfish floating under the sea,
Perfectly frivolous, perfectly free,
No job to go to, no daily grind,
No brains, no bones and no body you'll find,
Just a jellyfish heart and a jellyfish mind,
Perfectly happy to be.

And when you're in school
And you're doing your sums,
You can count all these creatures
On fingers and thumbs;
You can count them all day
But they won't count you back,
For all knowledge of human endeavours they lack,
And that's why they dropped out a long time ago
In an ocean so vast that it's size you can't know,
Perfectly frivolous, perfectly fabulous,
Perfectly happy to be.

Think of each day just the same as the last;
Octopus future as octopus past,
Roaming and rambling under the waves,
Think of it and you will see.

And think of the day when you get a degree;
When the lessons accumulate 'til you are free,
You can jump in the ocean just one more time
And search it's blue depths for a song or a rhyme,
Sounding the octopus.
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